Across America, employee relations are collapsing at the Office.
I’m amazed, actually, that a crafty producer isn’t already trying to create a new Dunder Mifflin series called The virtual office.
As bosses brag about their management skills and extraordinary feats of making even more money, employees grumble resentfully. And virtually.
In many industries, they realize that bosses have used the pandemic to downsize and leave customers seriously unsatisfied.
Yes, of course, I am talking about the airlines. The only industry that would try to shame Oliver Twist for his greed.
Anyone who has traveled in the past year knows how life-saving a mess airline customer service has become. Canceled flights, delayed flights, lost luggage, it’s hard to find out anything the airlines have done right.
American Airlines pilots, for example, make movies showing how incompetent they find their bosses.
Now, United Airlines flight attendants have come up with an equally cutting edge, if not even more delicious idea.
Their union, the Flight Attendants Association, decided to do what the bosses ask the customers to do to bosses.
No, not going online to denounce how useless they are. Well, not exactly. Instead, they’re rolling out something called the Flight Attendant Promoter Score.
Many companies use the so-called Net Promoter Score to brag about their customer service. If it’s a good score, yes.
It is the measure derived from the short survey question you are asked after a flight: “How likely are you to recommend the airline to your friends, family and random people you meet in the bars on a Friday night?
So now United flight attendants will tag the airline. Every week. It’s kind of like a glass door that everyone can see, a door that offers a (hopefully) honest reflection of how utterly irritated flight attendants are at their direction.
According to the flight attendants union, “It’s just common sense that to provide a great experience for United passengers, the people delivering the experience need to feel valued and supported.”
This part of her press release was the charm section. You may recall, however, that the union prefers to employ generalized sarcasm when referring to its bosses. He recently mocked to United’s attempts to carry out random uniform testing with fascinating aplomb.
Now, with the Flight Attendant Promoter Score, the union thought: “As the problem solvers that we are, we thought we would offer valuable insights into how management can improve this critical experience for flight attendants. internal air.”
And we will let customers see how terribly managed we are.
Just as you’ve probably tried to call an airline’s customer service and been told the wait time was four hours, flight attendants say they’ve had to wait for similar durations when they tried to call United – to check on their ranking changes.
Now, they’ll rate the airline, among other things, if their contributions feel valued, if they feel supported by bosses – especially during tough times – and if crew scheduling gives them prompt service, finally.
There is a nice twist.
The union happily concludes: “Being responsive to flight attendant feedback will have a significant impact on our working environment and should have a correlative impact on United’s NPS scores.”
You see, United management, we do this to improve your net promoter scores, the ones you like to brag about to analysts or anyone else who listens to you.
Too many industries seem to be struggling with employee dissatisfaction right now. Could this have something to do with employees seeing management profits and self-sufficiency increase exponentially?
Personally, I look forward to the day that United Airlines issues a crushing press release announcing that it has increased its flight attendant promoter score.
The title could be: “We did it! We finally convinced our employees to love us!”
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